Those finalists not headed to the unemployment line are:

Allison Iraheta – 16-year-old high school student with the funky red hair. Her voice reminds me of Kelly Clarkson. Her looks…well, forget about it.

Kris Allen – Has the baby-face-ish looks and vocals of a silly boy-band member. I was really surprised he made it to the Top 12. The guy can’t sing!

Adam Lambert – Emo-looking dude with the most powerful voice. He’s a cross between Steven Tyler and Gerard Way. I think he’s gay.

Not in the Top 12

• Jesse Langseth

• Matt Breitzke

• Jeanine Vailes

• Matt Giraud

• Megan Corkrey

• Mishavonna Henson

• Kai Kalama

• Jasmine Murray

• Nick Mitchell

VIDEO: American Idol Group 2 Performance (Closer)